Well Thats New
by Female whovian
Summary: Cali and Ace were just two regular siblings who liked Red vs Blue. Until a freak lightning bolt draws them into the show. How cliché. Join their adventure! Warning - language!
1. Chapter 1

Cali-

Hi, my name's Cali, and the annoying one over there is Ace. Though nobody would guess it we're brother and sister, he just gets bragging rights because he's older. Douche. Anyhow, we're normal kids, you know, high school, housework, church every Sunday and coffee straight after. Though we do share a similar taste in after-school activities, for example, we both do mixed martial arts, we both know how to shoot a gun, we both are in our schools anime club ( what? it's fun) and thanks to our redneck uncles we can both assemble a gun blindfolded in under a minute. We also like action movies, and video games. And Red vs Blue. That's the one thing that lets us get along. We'll tolerate each other long enough to discuss theories and ideas and comparisons on the amazing online show! People think its weird I like it, but some people also think its weird that the last thing they see before waking up in the infirmary is a size 8 ladies boot in their face but whatever. Anyone, time to get down to the real story. How our lives got seriously messed up. Shut up Ace, I'll be a dramatic as I wanna be! Anyhow, where was I? Oh yea, it all started one dark and stormy night... I know it sounded lame just roll with it Ace

"Ace, didja see my keys laying around anywhere!?" I called downstairs to my lazy ass brother who was was probably camped out on the couch playing video games.  
"There down here, like they always are idiot!" He yelled back. Grrrr, I'm going murder that loser one day. I stomped down the steps to our basement in a foul mood. Today, had not been a good day for me and now I was going to be late for my party. As I arrived a the basement doorway I saw my brother just where I expected him to be. Now let me explain to you something about my brother. He's not entirely hideous looking, if he put some effort in he might even be SLIGHTLY handsome. He's got sandy blonde hair that's short cropped and he's muscular and he's got a smile that my friends say is hot, which grosses me out. Today he was sporting his regular look, a pair of jeans, a red-tee, and gray hoodie with a pair of dog tags. (Lame story, we found one of those machines in Walmart when we were kids and made matching ones, except his has an eagle on the back and mine has a wolf).  
"Where'd you say those keys were Ace?" I growled out in frustration as I searched his man cave. I did not want to be late for this party, I had outdone myself! My long brown hair was in a fishtail ponytail and I was wearing a oversized, off the shoulder powder blue sweater over skinny jeggings and black flats with light make-up and only wearing my dog tags and a golden ring in the shape of a snake. Oh yeah, I looked good. I'm not being narcissistic Ace, stop interrupting Anyhoo... blah blah blah found the keys blah blah blah fighting. The long and the short of it I had some time to kill. I wasn't gonna leave til the rain let up and besides, disregarding my earlier worries about being late I was actually on time. So I sat down to watch some good ole RVB with my bro. One thing we didn't expect? The lighting hitting our house and the exact same time we both put our fingers on the tracking button, therefore sucking us into the RVB universe. Yeah, not exactly how I expected my Friday evening to go.

"Ugh, how much did I have to drink last night?" I asked groggily holding my head. I pushed myself up off of the grassy floor I was lying on and put my head in my hands til I realized something and froze. Grass? I looked around to see I was nowhere near home. I was in a valley, which for some reason seemed familiar. But it was kind of hard to think with a shot gun in my face. Oh yea, that was the other thing wrong with this picture. I gulped and shook Ace as hard as I could as I stared at the... thing in front of me. He was 6'2 which towered over my 5'6 frame. He was covered in some type if bright red armor, that if I didn't know any better would say looked exactly like Sarges armor from red vs blue (geez I was so geeky sometimes). My brother groaned and sat up before repeating my earlier actions and stopping at the figure pointing a gun at us.  
"Cal," he hissed, "Please tell me this is some elaborate twisted prank you pulled." I shook my head as a way of answering. After a few minutes of silence I ventured to speak to the big man in the armor.  
"Uh... Hi?" I asked him shielding my eyes from the sun. He looked down at me before replying in a deep southern accent,  
"Be quiet you dirty rotten blue! I don't care if you are a girl, this is war! Thanks to the solider next to you, you are now a prisoner of red base!" And suddenly it clicked. Somehow, someway, we were in the Red vs Blue universe. Dear lord.

I was completely unsure what to do until for once in his life Ace came up with a smart idea. He quickly sprung to his feet and motioned me to follow his lead slowly.  
"Uh, Sargent... sarge... um, Private Ace... uh... Smith," which can I say worst fake name ever, "reporting for duty... oh, uh, Sir!" He said doing a very bad impression of a army salute. However being the idiot Sarge was, he accepted it.  
"Nice to meet ya. But aren't you a little young to be in the military son?" he asked suspiciously. That's it. We're goners.  
"They... uh... lowered the enlistment  
age?" He replied feebly. Oh, yea, goners.  
"Well alright then!" Sarge replied and it seriously took all my inner strength not to face palm.  
"I was just sending this useless blue back to her base, because she knows nothing about anything." He said stiffly, causing me to growl slightly.  
"Ok then solider! Get going blue!" Sarge replied happily as my brother gave me a little shove from behind. I glared at him as if to say, you are so going down for this, nut he just shrugged and gave me an apologetic smile.

"Fine, I'm going." I replied angriliy to the "soliders" in front of me. Sigh. This has been one weird day.

After a 30 minute walk across the long ass valley I FINALLY arrived at Blue base. I was thinkng about what to do when I fet an object whistle past my face and last sharply in the ground behind me.

"Dammit!" I heard a voice yell from above me. A voice that could only be...

"Church?" I yelled upwards. All was silent for a moment before a figure jumped off the base and landed infront of me. I was used to guns being pointed in my face so I wasn't suprised when i aligned my eyes with the barrel of a pistol.

"Who the hell are you?" He snarled. I began to reply but before I felt something heavy clunk against the base of my skull. Ow, was all I could croak out before I fell to the flor and was engulfed by darkness.

**Hey guys! So this was an idea I had when watching a RVB marathon. I WILL ADMIT THE UPDATES MIGHT BE ERRATIC! Sorry, but I don't have a computer, so Im typing this on my dads. Set in a sort of AU in season 10 in which Tex is still around and Carolina took the team home. Review if you enjoyed! Muwah! xoxoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

Cali-

The first thing I remember was darkness. Then a blinding pain in the back of my head. It was 10x worse than any hangover. It was even worse than that time I went partying in Vegas with bunch a friends for spring break and woke up the next morning wearing nothing but a fez with a banana in one hand and a screwdriver in the other. Still can't remember what happened that night. Anyhow, in amongst this pain I thought it was time to get up, but suddenly I realized something. I couldn't because I was handcuffed to the chair I was sitting in.

"What the…" I started before the memories came rushing back to me. Waking up in the world of Red vs. Blue. Sarge. My brother becoming a red. Me becoming a blue. The hike to blue base. Being shot at (badly) by Church. Being knocked out. I groaned as I hear the voice of a female. One female in particular.

"Who are you?" I heard a very pissed Carolina ask.

"My name is… California Smith but just call me Cali. I am a freelancer." I replied groggily. I opened my eyes a bit more to see the sea foam (or was it aquamarine) armor clad warrior pointing a gun in my face.

"What are you doing here?" Shit, how am I supposed to explain that?

"I-uh- was sent here to help blue team."

"How are we supposed to know you won't help the red team if they pay you enough?"

"Trust me. Nobody here could match the money I'll get paid if I help you win this war," yea, I thought sarcastically, I had a bet with my bro that if blue won, he'd have to be my slave for a year, "So I'm here until you win." I watched as she put her pistol down painstakingly slowly.

"Fine. But if you're lying I won't hesitate to kill you."

"Yes ma'am." I said quickly. She knelt down in front of me with knife and cut the ropes that bound me to my chair. I sighed gratefully as got up and rolled my shoulders. She tossed me a water and a bottle of painkillers which I happily took.

"Well, as long as you're here, you might as well meet the team." She said sighing.

"But you can't very well go out there looking like that. We have a spare set of armour in the closet. I'll let you change in peace." She said softening a bit before becoming rock again and shutting the door behind her. Although it took me a couple tries I was finally able to put on the complicated armour. It was white with blue accents, and actually fit me quite well. When I was done I opened the door to see Carolina waiting outside reading a book on battle strategies. She looked me over before nodding approvingly and asked,

"Are you ready?"

I nodded in a non-committal gesture, although inside I was freaking the hell out. I followed her lead as she led me up the stairs passing doors of crap that should not be in a military base. Finally we reached what I think was some sort of a living room. I surveyed the room but there wasn't much to look at. The team were in various positions around the room; Caboose was on the couch reading a book upside down, Tucker was in the corner with a blanket over his legs and a computer in his lap, and Wash was cleaning his weapons on the side table and Tex and Church were arguing in the corner (ahhh love). They all looked up as I entered the room with varying levels of interest.

"Everyone," Carolina announced, "This is Agent California Smith or Cali. She'll be aiding Blue Team until further notice." Church looked up in outrage but before he could say a word Carolina promptly pivoted on her heel and left the room. Bitch. There were a few more moments of silence before I decided to try the suffocating tension.

"So can I ask, who knocked me out?" I inquired sweetly. More silence. Tex stood up then and crossed her arms.

"Me. What of it?"

"I just wanted to say you did a really good job. The ringing in my ears may be there permanently." I replied sarcastically. She studied me for a few moments so I copied her position and lifted an eyebrow. She studied me for bit longer before she cracked a genuine smile.

"I like her. She's got spunk!" It was like the balloon of tension in the room popped with that declaration. Tucker smiled and got up to flirt but I quickly shot his ass down. Caboose was exactly how I expected him to be, sweet, but brain dead. Wash was sweet but rough at the same time, but he balanced it quite well.

Even Church got off his ass and shook my hand... with only minor grumbling.

"So beautiful, why don't you take off that helmet and show us what you really look like." Tucker said as he peered inside my visor trying to get a good look at me.I shrugged before carefully remove the advanced piece of technology on my head. I heard gasps around me as I put the helmet on the table.

"But you're just a kid!" Church cried. I rolled my eyes before replying, sarcasm dripping my words like a wax candle,

"Geez thanks. I love being called that," I straightened up a bit, "besides I'm eighteen, not four." I snarkily. He narrowed his eyes but before he could say anything, Tucker let out a loud sigh of relief,

"Thank GOD! I thought I was a pedophile for about ten seconds there!" He said happily, which caused us all to crack up. Now I remember why I love this show!

**Hey loyal fans! Comment t'allez vous? So thanks for so much positive feed back! You guys are amazeballs! So I'd like to give a shout out to AnonymousZGirl, who give me a bunch of great ideas to try out! So thanks again! Until the next update friends! (Btw if you get my inside joke that is located in this chapter, you rock!) REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

Ace-

Alright, so lets recap. I was just innocently minding my own business and watching a RVB marathon, when my loud ass sister reared her ugly head to ruin my evening. {Ow! Don't hit me Cali!} Blah blah, arguing, blah blah, fighting, same old same old. We had been debating on which episode to watch and both our fingers hit the trackpad of my computer when a lighting bolt struck the house, how cliché is that, and we woke up in the world of Red vs Blue. Yup, just another typical Friday. But anyway, lets fast forward a bit to the introductions.

As soon as I arrived I was fitted with a spare set of armour in a deep dark almost brick red colour. I was then shown to a barrack and told that it was where I'd be sleeping. I threw my clothes down on an empty bunk then followed Sarge to a large room, which I guess was a sort of living room. Everyone was seated in the room and when I entered they all looked up with interest, apart from Grif who was taking a nap in the corner.

"Everyone," Sarge shouted unnecessarily, his strong Texas twang bleeding into his voice, "Command sent us a new operative to help us destroy those dirty rotten blues! I expect you to treat Private Smith like a member of the team. That is all!" He shouted before walking off mumbling something about how much he hated Grif, therefore leaving me alone in the room with the team staring at me.

I stood there awkwardly, observing the people around me. Simmons was seated in an uncomfortable looking plastic chair reading what looked like a rule book. Donut was in the little side kitchenette making what I think were supposed to be soufflés, but apparently according to his grumbling that they were to beautiful to live, whatever that meant. And finally, Doc was sitting on the couch mixing some dangerous looking chemicals that I did not want to be anywhere near, and the best part is they were all staring at me. I waved a awkward hand at them and said,

"Uh, hi?" With that it seemed everyone shook out of their trance and stood to greet me. Simmons came forward first and shook my hand very formally and said,

"Welcome Private Smith to Red Base. My name is Dick Simmons. It is a pleasure to have you working with us." I couldn't help but smirk under my helmet at his name but replied,

"Pleasure to meet you sir." He smiled as if he was satisfied then moved aside to let Donut through. Instead of a handshake, he are me a huge hug and said,

"Hiya! My name is Private Donut, and I'm sure were gonna be close friends! Like really close." He said suggestively causing everyone in the room to shake their heads.

"Um... ok then?" I replied weirded out a bit wondering if he was hitting on me, but he just smiled and skipped off. Not even joking. Skipped. But I had no time to ponder that before Doc strode up to me and shook my hand.

"Hi, my name is Doc! I'm a medic, and today my job is to give you a clean bill of health, so why don't you go change out of that armor and I'll do your check up now." He said in a friendly voice handing me a pair of sweats ad a t-shirt. I nodded and walked into the bathroom and proceeded to remove the heavy armor from my body. When I was done I walked out in the clothing and heard a bunch of people gasp.

"But-but-but you're just a kid!" Doc and Simmons cried together.

"Actually I'm eighteen." I said coldly. Same age as my sister, except I came out first! In her face!

"Still-"

"Guys, the kids like two years younger than me, he's practically an adult." I heard a voice comment lazily. I turned around to see none other than Private Dexter Grif himself. He got up and shook my hand roughly.

"They call me Grif. You?"

"Uh, oh- I'm Ace. Ace Smith." I replied to the orange armour clad man in front of me. He was lucky my sister wasn't here for this, because she would break his eardrums from screaming. {ow! what did I say about hitting Cal!} Grif is Cali's favorite character from RVB, probably because she's just like him. He nodded then walked back to his spot on the couch. I then followed Doc through a set of doors to an examining room and got a check up.

"Well, looks like you are perfectly healthy Private. You can go now. Why don't you go rest, and you can start work tomorrow." Doc said with a smile on his face. I nodded and headed back towards the barracks I had been shown to. I placed the armor on a heap on the floor, pulled off my shirt, and jumped into bed. I ran my hand across my dog tags, that matched my sisters set. How was Cali? Had it been a smart idea to send her over there? As much as I hated to admit it, I really missed my baby sister. I sighed and yawned as exhaustion took ahold of me before the dark tendrils asleep to my mind to blackness and I thought no more.

**Hola fanitos! Yeah, I can't speak Spanish... But anyways, moving on! I'm so very sorry for the long wait, but it was an interesting chapter to write. Can you guess one of my pairings yet? You get a virtual cookie if you can! So, this is kind of what I'm planning to do, two chapters from Cali's POV and two in Ace's. Hope everybody had happy holidays! Another inside joke hidden in here! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Ace-

"Alright team! Today we attack blue base!" Well that woke me up. It had been a week since I'd been here, a week since I'd seen my baby sister, and in that week I'd done nothing. Absolutely nothing. Sure, I'd done some training and gotten guard duty, but other than that, nothing. Today Sarge had called us in for a meeting. I'd just been nodding off when he said that.

"You can't do that!" I cried shooting to my feet, panic seeping into my voice. Everyone turned round to look at me obviously wondering what the hell I meant.

"What the hell do you mean," Oh yeah, I'm practically physic. Ok, maybe not, but Sarge was pretty predictable, "We'll have the drop on them! They won't see it coming! Soldiers, Grif, we attack today!"

"But-"

"That's final Private Smith!" He yelled at me angrily. I plunked down on my seat in shock. Oh, shit. No one dies in Red vs Blue, I said trying to convince myself. But plenty of people get shot, said the nasty little voice in my head. Bastard. But he had a point. And under circumstances could I let my sister get hurt.

-THIS LINE BREAK HAS A MOUSTACHE :-{D-

Cali-

{Awww, Ace! It warms my heart to hear you say that! Ow, that actually hurt!} I'd been at blue base for exactly one week, and I still had no idea how to get home! The team were nice enough, but they still considered me a child. The only two people who took me seriously were Tex and Carolina, but that's probably because I was the only person who was almost a match for them. Caboose was a sweetheart, really, but he kept ruffling my hair and calling me little one, which annoyed the fuck out of me. Church was just flat out rude and Tucker is just a perv. The only people I could talk to weren't even people. I got along quite well with Lopez (thank god for my parent s forcing me to learn Spanish) and Shelia who listened to me. On that particular day I was talking to Lopez about the team.

"Así que ¿por qué su equipo hizo te hablan a español nuevo/ _So why did your team make you speak Spanish again?"_

"Porque son unos idiotas. ¿Qué es eso/_Because they're idiots. Hey what's that_?" He said cocking his hand to his ear as if he listening to something

I listened too, and heard what could only be described as sounds of some sort of frat party filled with whoops and loud stupid music, headed towards us. Quickly. Before I knew what was going on I was surrounded by a bunch of people pointing guns at my face.

"Blues! We have your teammate! Come out unarmed and we won't shoot her fucking brains out!" Simmons shouted at the top of his voice. Slowly my team exited the safe house. With the men distracted, it was the perfect time to make my move. I sprinted towards the pink armoured man and punched him before grabbing his gun and flipping him over my shoulder then I threw the gun aside and grabbed both Grif and Simmons arms doing what I like to call the human double pinwheel causing them both to go flying. I then ran towards the other solider a threw a punch which he caught with ease. We then entered into some all out battle in which neither us landed a blow on the other. Then it clicked. I knew who I was fighting, and it seemed he did to. I back flipped away from him and we both stood there panting heavily. Sarge and Church then shouted,

"FINISH HIM/HER SMITH!" then looked at each other with I guess confusion. Or anger. Or both. I took off my helmet and he did he same. I looked at him for a couple minutes before running into the arms of my big brother.

"What in gods name is happening?" Church and Sarge said in unison once more. I turned towards my leader and said in a loud voice,

"Everyone, this is Ace. He's my brother." To say they were surprised would be an understatement.

**Hello everyone, again! So I usually wouldn't do this, but I really wanted to have Lopez speak so... yea. As I have said before I cannot speak a lick of Spanisho, so if you do, bear with the Google Translate please! Please review! I love reviews! I'm a review whore!**


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